End the Playdate before it Begins (via @RookieMoms)
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
I love this playdate post from the Rookie Moms. End the Playdate before it Begins, they advocate, lest you get stuck not knowing when to part, or you’re left with a guest who stays all day.
I couldn’t agree more. Because all children tend to be on different schedules, I think it’s important to remind guests of a time frame. When I setup a a playdate, I usually mention that we eat lunch at noon and my son goes down for a nap at 1…and that seems to be sufficient for them to get the idea. I’ve never had anybody overstay their welcome. However, when we have guests that don’t have young children, I find that setting an end time for the visit is essential because our house is small and we’re not able to wind down while it’s full of guests.
What about you? Have you had any lollygaggers at your house? Have you been guilty of hanging around a friend’s house for a bit too long?
I prefer later playdates so that I can have my son go to bed at a decent time. My son hasn’t taken naps for two years. I am the opposite, I want people to stay longer!
I think people who want to invite you to their house, but say you have to leave in 2 hours should not be having play dates at their house. I understand people who come at 9 and do not leave until 7 at night, but I am sure that is very rare.
Candie, why do you think that? It sets the children up to be tired and get hungry and therefore cranky. It puts unnecessary pressure on the host if you’re going to over stay your welcome. Maybe your host is wanting to have guests but has other time committments you would be interrupting if you were to stay longer. I think it’s the responsibility of the guest, just as much as the host to know when it’s appropriate to end a visit on a good note.
June 3 at 3:33pm
Because it is my opinion. All children are different (so no, not all children will get cranky, hungry or tired during a play date) and my preferences and opinions are based on the experience I have gained due to 3 children I am raising. I have been a mother for 18 years and to 3 totally different children. As far as over staying a welcome, that is not an issue with me or my guest. When hosting a play date the host should make any time restraints obvious prior to someone accepting the play date. Two hours is appropriate for a play date, however, if you have time constraints on a certain day then do not host a play date that day. I do not attend play dates at other peoples home nor do I host, so this is not an issue with me. I only attend public area play dates. I suggest that to anyone who has issues with duration of guests in their home. As a mother, however, I do have an opinion on the matter.
Usually with my friends we pack food and eat lunch together then part before nap time. I guess I’m lucky my daughter doesn’t need much wind down time before a nap as long as she’s had an active day. I had a friend once who would come over and only stay an hour. I always thought it was strange and since I don’t see many friends it always bummed me out when she left so quick. If I have a friend who over-stays the welcome I usually don’t make playdates with them at my house. I go there or meet up with her so we are free to separate when we need to.
As someone who hosts a lot of playdates, I have found that generally 2 hours is best. Its enough time for the kids to play parents to talk and have coffee. It also leaves the rest of the day to do other things too.